Nine months ago…

November 22, 2011 § 3 Comments


I was forced to quit my job and wanted to pursue the idea of something different. Sadly, the stars didn’t align to well for my hopes. Currently I’m facing the decision of going back to the same job or company. But hell no! It feels like you go back to something that didn’t make you happy but you had to go along with it. I live in a small city where there’s not a lot of the opportunities that I want to have. All those are in a different place. But if you’d tell me, “ Then do something about it! “ I’d say, “ I did, but I now can’t leave just yet.” My dad has an incurable illness and mom is also struggling with work and financial issues here at home. They are aging and my conscience can’t carry the load of just leaving again. It’s so ironic because I can’t stand it here. So what do I do to help? Nothing. I’m also getting older and I want to move to a different place and city to find work. But they’d rather see me move to a different country than to another city. That’s why there’s just no urge for me to find any job. I’m also broke and can’t go anywhere at this stage. I also know that I need to grow up and take responsibility. Anyway important things matter like relationships and real happiness. But I can’t describe the feeling of I just want to be out there and experience rather than facing this mundane reality.

I miss a lot of things when I had a job. It was my first and only full time occupation for 2 years straight. Needless to say, I have great respect for money, it’s just those few perks that goes along with it. You get paid which enables you to do things like to eat wherever you wish, have that pricy coffee, purchase that expensive shirt, buy those gadgets that you long for, and most of all I just miss travelling. I’m not a rich or spoiled kid, I was never. I have no debt that I owe. Maybe I just miss having that control.

I understand that it starts within me and alter the way I think. I got to stop whining, and figure out a way to get along well, make some cash and hopefully live.

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