Decade Late

April 28, 2012 § 30 Comments

I never talk about my relationships here

Someone specific might see, I fear

You see, we’re close to a decade

And back to strangers we seem to fade

I hate the way he has become with me
And only with me

The ugly snaps and hurtful words
he says it only to me.

Yet soft tones and friendly smiles he gives away even to passers by

I have long pondered to free me

For thoughts once acted are too heavy.

§ 30 Responses to Decade Late

  • Bluesander says:

    These are all the thoughts I’ve wanted to say, but never had the words too.
    Why do we love what hurts us?
    I’ve missed your poetry, dear hermit – if I may call you that.

    • i know.. i have been struggling to be honest especially in my blog.. if i cant say it here coz i’m way too secretive then I don’t write it at all (that’s why you don’t see me writing anything for weeks or months), I keep it inside.. but I realize that creating this pain in to words, you and other people here appreciate my work.. I thank you for that.

      • Bluesander says:

        Mm I can understand being secretative. Share what you can, keep hidden what you don’t want people to find out. Just be you and that’s more than enough for us to admire.

  • LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words says:

    I am glad to see you
    powerful words here….
    I have a friend who cannot speak to me
    because someone doesnot want us to be friends…
    how sad what we hve to hide…
    I know this well myself…
    peotry is full of clues and pieces to a larger puzzle…
    hidden in plain site….

    Thank you for saying these words..
    Take care…

    • thank you.. its heart breaking to see that relationships crumble.. I don’t know how to put into words sometimes..some thoughts I feel ashamed or i’m too secretive to say.. poetry has given me a beautiful way to vent out and to readers like you who appreciate it, I thank you.

  • meiro says:

    The collapse of a relationship is painful, I had ever feel it and need time to improve. Thanks God we could release the sense by writing, so that the burden feel lighter.

    Warm regards.

  • Francina says:


    I have nominated you for multiple awards . To find out more about the awards, please visit

    Ciao, Francina

  • tigercity says:

    A decade indeed, my marriage lasted that long.. at least on paper.. the hardest part will be facing up to it.. it’s easy to let the days slip by kidding yourselves everything will turn out right.. it’s just a period, it’s the kids, it’s his new job, it’s a row we had.. No, you can either sit down and have a serious talk or one thing will lead to another.. I’ve just been chatting to a friend after badminton, he tells me he “feels trapped” in hs relationship & he has 2 kids..the human spirit cannot be trapped or it dies..and I think in today’s material world many couples ignore thir relationships’ failings and go on with it because of the financial advantages, the tax breaks, the in-laws.. it’s easy to say you need to discuss things, as one partner often brushes things off or says “it’s nothing”.. because you need to try.. and then if things are the same you take a very deep breath and move on.. but don’t fear the change, life is for experiencing everything.. there is nothing to be afraid of.

    • thank you for easily sharing your story with me.. what you say is true and its sad. i want to say i am still hopeful but the truth is, i don’t know. maybe i am between apathetic and hopeful. but i feel hopeless..none of it makes sense. thank you for saying not to fear change. because its true, i am scared. anyway let me see how this works out. a decade of saying nothing just to be polite (to avoid arguments of course) is insane!

  • Whoa!
    I am hooked… you write so lucidly about what you experience.
    I totally understand the dynamic of having to express yourself in unconventional ways. Beautiful melancholy

  • elizabeth says:

    You are a good writer and sharer of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Which makes your work easy to read and understand.
    Well done. Stay true to yourself and you won’t go far wrong. 🙂

  • Angel says:

    Very powerful and penetrating words. Thank you for stepping out and sharing. I am discovering that my vulnerability is helping me heal and discover things that I have hidden away.

    You never know who else is reading and can be filled with comfort by similar pains leading into the changes they need to make. Or life ponderings they should be reflecting on as well.

    I appreciate your exposure, and the strength it takes to share. You are a wonderful writer. I enjoy your poetry very much. 🙂

    • oh thank you so much..this is the beauty i find in blogging that I am not alone and that people appreciate vulnerability. I usually think I maybe whining but its all in my head coz i don’t really share. thank you again for reading.

  • villagepeasant says:

    That dynamic is all too common, letting out our frustrations on the ones we dearly love. But be of good cheer. Hang in there. I read, just yesterday, that people become kinder as they grow older. The question is, can we endure the pain long enough to reach that point? Yes, just hang in there. Life will get better
    Thank you for stopping by and liking my poem “Blessing God”.

  • “For thoughts once acted are too heavy.” Exquisite.

  • Red says:

    Glad to see you! I have walked this path, and it hurts. You have my heart ❤

  • Back to strangers… wow. Lots of truth in those three little words.

  • The complacency of time. I fear I fall into this too often myself.

  • dukewalker says:

    I do feel and understand your decade late. I do not understand the added days to the decade. All time, decades and all other increments of time, good or not so good, are forever lost to our past. We are only allowed to bring our memories forward. This means it is always a good day to start building good memories, even if that day must begin with pain and the loss of a precious dream. Be blessed – Duke

    • thank you for this, Duke.. because i used to tell myself “make better memories” but I totally forgot about what i told my self a couple of years ago until you said “start building good memories” thank you.

  • willofheart says:

    I know the feeling I’ve been there, and I understand the predicament but be strong life and loves moves in mysterious ways….

    • thank you willofheart..i wrote this way back but i’ve been feeling this for a while before i even wrote it, until now i feel still feel the same way. i really don’t know what i’m doing anymore. 😦

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